


Coming to Terms

by Maria_Metal_Darkness



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Dominance, F/M, Feelings, Jealousy, Little but significant plot, Major character death referred, Possesive Kylo, Post TLJ, Realisation, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Burn, explicit content in later stage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-05 17:19:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14049060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maria_Metal_Darkness/pseuds/Maria_Metal_Darkness
Summary: Taking place after the events of the The Last JediAfter the battle in Crait, Kylo Ren and Rey seem to be more distant than ever.When the distance is closing between them a new balance will be created. A shifting in the force that will change both of them profoundly and forever.**********************"Rey headed for her bed and turned her back on him with tenacity. If she didn’t see him, didn’t speak to him, if she just ignored him maybe the bond would fade. Maybe he would disappear and fade too with her discomfort.All this time she had left her thoughts unguarded and Kylo Ren could sense them. Struggling with his own emotions, the task suddenly became insufferable. He felt his anger growing and engulfing everything in its path. His face got dark and fierce and his body tightened in stress.He wanted to hurt her. Harm her.Give her pain…. just like the pain he felt inside tearing him apart, because even though she had rejected him, a part of him still longed for her. And that part had to die."





	1. What Lies Beneath

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of the many Reylo stories that has been spinning in my head for quite some time now.  
> Since English is not my native language please be lenient on possible grammar/syntax mistakes or wrong use of certain words. I would happily take advice on corrections if you d like to point them out. I have the story already completed in my mind but the details around it seem to take most of the time for it to finish. I give great importance to feelings since they are the ones that lead us through our decisions. I would deeply appreciate your comments. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 1 : What Lies Beneath

 

His dark figure stood silent under glimpses of fading light. Eyes empty, looking everywhere and nowhere, barren of emotion and strength.

Kylo Ren felt that frigid touch of Force, the stillness in the air, the unavoidable call.  
His eyes rose up to her in the other side of the room, now standing up from her bed surprised and defensive. In a clash of a second those feelings were transformed to rage and then subsided to dismay.

Rey came slowly closer to him with a touch of hesitation, taking another step forward but again not close enough. Her face was stiff and tired, as if fighting some relentless enemy countless battles. _Was it herself?_

“You disappointed me”, she muttered bitterly raising her eyes upon him.

“That makes the two of us” he replied in anger.

Her words infuriated him igniting a cycle of losing control. She had the nerve to judge him after everything he had done for her. He had killed his master for her and he had offered her everything…. everything …..to receive rejection and contempt. And now he would experience that bitter taste of it all over again, against his will and power.

“This shouldn’t be happening anymore…. I want you to leave! Leave!” She cried and turned away.

Rey had lost her calmness as herself acknowledged that the ability to handle the situation was put to question. She couldn’t handle him in particular and her feelings on a second level. Having believed that with Snoke the bond would die -only to be refuted by reality - up till then she had willfully refused to accept that she might have to face him again, and along with him all the emotional burden that he accompanied.

“Believe me, if I had the means, I would gladly do so!” He growled back and he meant it.  
He would rather be somewhere else, anywhere. Anywhere that he wouldn’t have to think. Anywhere that he wouldn’t have to accept that he had played and lost, that he was defeated and weak.

And unwanted.

Rey headed for her bed and turned her back on him with tenacity. If she didn’t see him, didn’t speak to him, if she just ignored him maybe the bond would fade. Maybe he would disappear and fade too with her discomfort.

All this time she had left her thoughts unguarded and Kylo Ren could sense them. Struggling with his own emotions, the task suddenly became insufferable. He felt his anger growing and engulfing everything in its path. His face got dark and fierce and his body tightened in stress.

He wanted to hurt her. Harm her.

Give her pain…. just like the pain he felt inside tearing him apart, because even though she had rejected him, a part of him still longed for her. And that part had to die.

With fast pace he rushed beside her and grabbed her wrists tight turning her around to face him, nailing her to the bed. Rey was shocked but upon overcoming her fear she tried to resist him.

“What the hell are you doing? Let me go!!!”

She shouted and used all her strength to release herself, in vain though, as he had her immobilized with his vast muscularity. He was enormous, robust and now excessively mad.

“TELL ME!” He screamed over her face, his gloved hands clenching her wrists so strong that she thought he would crash them.

“Tell me how much you hate me!!!” he grunted.

“Show me your repulse, your loathe !!!” The words came out of his mouth thick and unbearable.

“Show me!” he commanded once more.

“Show me…show me your….disgust”. He hissed now quieter but even more intimidating.

_Tell me… show me, he thought within his mind._  
_Cause when you do, this ache may go away… the suffering… the torture._

_Make it stop._

No words were heard. Rey was petrified in terror, breathing heavily under his grasp, succumbed to fear to either speak or think.

If he was expecting something from her, she was unable to conform.

But there was another way. He could take it by force. And he would.

He concentrated himself and evaded her mind so severely that she stroke her head in pain closing her eyes to withstand the assault.

“No! Don’t you dare!!!” She cried in agony but couldn’t oppose him like the previous time in the interrogation room. He was now enraged and she was more frightened than she could ever admit.

Kylo Ren begun to search her emotions thoroughly. He discovered infinite aspects of them along with the way she perceived people and situations. He could now understand how she valued friendship and humor, empathy and trust, companionship and self-sacrifice. All these were things she had learned to appreciate while she was with the Resistance fleet.

But Kylo Ren wasn’t interested in that. He wanted to know her feelings of him and him alone and now that he had scratched the surface and he was nowhere to be found, he realized that he had to dig further. _But just how deep?_

He concentrated even more having his anger as compass, as he sank beneath the lower layers of her subconscious. Rey would constantly resist, shouting, swearing, pleading at times but now he wouldn’t hear her cries anymore. He wouldn’t hear anything. The only thing that mattered was the truth. And he was going to take it out of her whatever means he would have to use.

His mind continued to search, identify and proceed with surgical precision all the data that was accumulated when it suddenly hit its target.

There, in the back of her head heavily suppressed, he found what he was looking for.

Rey quit resisting. A sound of sobbing now could be heard within the room. Her eyes were red and her soul weary.

He took a look at her but nevertheless, he had reached to his purpose and this was a point of no return.

Without hesitation he sank into her feelings of him, ready to face what was to come.

He was wrong.

Nothing could actually make him ready for what he would have to experience.

He felt the Force, running down his spine and within his veins like a catalytic stream entraining every little bit into a whole washing him over and then spiting him out of it.

Then all the water was drained and he was shed with an excruciating light so strong that it blinded him, compelling him to withdraw his eyes.

_He yet wanted more of it._

Now the feeling had transcended to something else. Warmth. The light was still there but this moment it shone gently upon him.

It was all he felt, it was what she felt for him.

Warmth and affection. And caring. And Understanding. And…. many more he would hungrily extract while Rey would still cry her guts out underneath him.

His attention suddenly turned elsewhere. He discovered a scene of how she was depicting him, how she was depicting the two of them together. He was addicted and he would devour every bit of information he could find.

The mirror of her mind showed the two of them staring at each other and then slowly embracing. He bent to deepen in the thought and follow its conclusion but was met with utter resistance.

**“NO.”** She said decisively and her mind barriers pushed him away both mentally and physically from above her as if she had slapped him, simultaneously releasing her hands.

 He had gone too far this time and she would not allow it. It was her thoughts-

_The thoughts of them together._

And she would move heaven and earth to keep them that way.  
That and how deep she was forced to hide her emotions so that she could cope with them each day.

Kylo Ren stood still again in his position giving her room to breath and recover.

“All these feelings..” he whispered.

“And yet you refused me.”

“Why did you refuse me? I would have given you anything…”

“Anything….” His eyes were sore and his look pained just like when she had shut the door of the Falcon, severing their connection.

“You still don’t understand..” Rey exhaled with a tone of grief, sitting on the bed while looking and rubbing her aching wrists.

“I never refused _you_.”

“Just _your_ vision of power and dominance”. And she went on.

“I was never interested in those things. All I ever wanted….” She made a pause before continuing.

“Was belonging”.

She turned her eyes to look at him again but he was gone.

Somewhere within the room a voice rustled like a morning breeze stirring fallen autumn leaves.

“You belong with me”.


	2. Unbreake the Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the reads, they are growing in amount and they are highly appreciated!  
> Still struggling with some expressions and selections of words but getting to it.  
> As always please feel free to advise corrections, or comment on anything.  
> I hope I get the following chapter faster next time.
> 
> If you like the story, please be so kind to leave kudos, it helps the motivation a lot :)

“You are looking at it from the wrong aspect”, Kylo Ren said hushed tone and Rey’s back flinched at his words and presence.

The day had not started well from the beginning. The Resistance base had to be built over the remnants of the old one and the current tasks were many and tough. Rey would work infinite hours on repairing spaceships malfunctions, transferring and testing equipment, relocate ammunition and charting supply lists on this cold planet. The air was chill and the land vegetation sparse and unvarying but it would do. It had to, as they needed a shelter.  
At least for now.

When she finished as many assignments as she could, she would dedicate a couple of hours on the Jedi texts and then what she considered the endless enigma : Luke’s broken lightsaber. And it had been an enigma indeed, because no matter how many hours she would work on it, she couldn’t understand neither its original structure, nor its reassembling.

Tonight, she was too tired to try and more inclined to surrender. She stared once more at the pieces in front of her, unable to focus or react.  
“To hell with it” she mumbled in frustration. She would wrap it up and get some decent hours sleep before a new cycle of tasks would emerge to complete. There would always be a next day she could work on it. _And a next, and a next…_

But then there he was.

Kneeling on his one knee, considering the parts on the table and then gazing up her strained silhouette.

“What…what do you mean?” She asked reluctantly.

After their previous encounter and her present weariness, she would appreciate a dispassionate confrontation.

Kylo Ren placed his left elbow on his bent knee and remained silent for a moment. Then he raised his right hand over the table.

Α set of parts and particles floated gently in the air taking another form of sequence. Quite a few as they were, they moved gracefully under his command. When the restructure was completed the whole would land again on the table neatly and carefully dispersed.

Rey held her breath. The current scheme had indeed a different logic that the one she reckoned.

“How can it be this way _(and why didn’t she come to think of it)_?” she pondered. She would still have to put everything together and even though one might have thought that the venture was on verge of completion it would prove to be still quite challenging to fulfill.

For a single moment Rey sunk in her thoughts before listening to his voice again.

“You lack both the knowledge and the experience to repair it”. He said calmly and his words instantly irritated her, reminding the you-are-nothing-discussion she didn’t want to go through again (even if she meant _something_ to him).

But he continued,

“You ‘ve got however the instincts”.

Now his voice was steady and clear.

“Just think of everything you have accomplished so far. You have barely had someone to mentor you and yet you have found your way to the Force.” She didn’t want a teacher, not him in any way, but now she just couldn’t resist being drawn by his guidance.

“Let it flow through you and it will unravel your questions at hand”.

Rey’s eyes gleamed with excitement.

“But how?”

“Close your eyes. Focus. Search your purpose”.

“Make _yourself_ the instrument that will accomplice this purpose”.

Rey pushed her hesitations aside. Even though it would be wise to have misgivings, she couldn’t restrain herself from wanting to try. She closed her eyes and followed his call. Somehow, all of this made sense and felt perfectly natural.

She raised her hand just like Kylo had some minutes ago and let her inner energy flow through the scattered objects. At first there was just a subtle stir in the Force but slightly after, the parts were moving, floating again.

Rey could feel the force swirling around her, constructing a growing dynamic field, sinking into an ethereal, magical dance.

A moment later some of the parts collided and attached while some other were pierced to the core of the controls. The pommel cap and the hand grip were merged into a firm connection, while the focusing ring twisted into place to the main hilt. Consequently, the energy core rotated in the air and adjusted to its fitting section. Each movement, each action was driven by Force’s power manipulated by her command, slowly and steadily being put together in a serene way.

The Kyber crystal trembled emitting a thin spark. It was the only component that seemed to mildly resist put to place. It seemed to waver back and forth as if it had a mind of its own.

“Careful now”, Kylo said and she was shaken at the thought, that his voice sounded so close as if whispering in her ear, causing her body to shudder. However, she didn’t open her eyes yet.

Rey concentrated on her will to harness the power of the crystal, its path had to be solid and unfaltering. It had to unify her own. Once she sensed the crystal’s adherence, Rey was allowed to take a deep breath and open her eyes.

He was still standing quite far from her on the other side of the room. A black, cloaked figure.

On the table in front of her the lightsaber laid fixed and in one piece.

She was absolutely thrilled.

Before she could take it in her hands though, Kylo Ren called for it and it obeyed him willingly as it flipped multiple times before landing on his open palm.

Rey could feel her heart beating too hard and too fast.

_Could he be so cruel, to guide her repair it only to take it from her in the end?_

_“It belongs to me”_ he had said once and she knew she had no alternative but to surrender it. To surrender herself in fact. Up until the battle in the throne room where they both claimed it so fiercely with the known outcome.

Kylo Ren didn’t speak or look at her when he activated it. He balanced the weapon on his hand, spinned it a couple of times with mastery and assumed fighting position sidestepping.

The saber hummed distinctively while he advanced to make a powerful thrust at an invisible enemy, after which he lowered his body for better balance and parried a notional death blow. His cape waved along as his moves emitted an air of excellence deriving from years of disciplined training.

He was flawless and dreadful.

A few moments later the laser blade touched the ground.

He turned around and walked towards her side impassively, still having the weapon activated.

Rey swallowed nervously but showed no fear.

Only when he stood a few steps from her, did he decisively turn off the blade and looked at her with a firm gaze.

“Its stable”, he said his hand extended, offering the hilt.

A not too distant memory emerged in her mind. It was her that previous time, extending her hand, offering the lightsaber to someone unwilling to take it.

Master Luke had made his decision and stood to it till his last breath. She, on the other hand would value the weapon having an almost sentimental detachment to it.

As she held it in her hands she felt overwhelmed with gratitude.

“Thank you”, she said courageously.

Kylo Ren nodded and turned his melancholic eyes away as the bond gradually dissolved.

Rey smiled, it had turned out to be a glorious day.


	3. The Mourning & the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren & Rey belong together. That is the only undeniable truth. 
> 
> This has taken a bit to write but wanted to get it done just the way it should be. 
> 
> As always, please leave kudos and comments if you wish to.  
> ______  
> 09/04/18 Done some necessary editing  
> ______  
> 04/07/18 Dear readers, this is a deeply touching story for me, but I am in a quite difficult period of my life and cant write at the moment this sort of "heavy" stuff. I am still however processing and making drafts of ideas for all the chapters and will be posting the whole story once its completed given that I feel better. This will definately be written at some point.

Something was wrong. And though he could not yet acknowledge it, he knew it to be true.

The times he saw her with others were the hardest. Especially when she talked and smiled or shared food from her plate with them.

Her friends. The ones she had left him for.

The bond had grown strong and they could both now see the people each one interacted with and hear their discussions. It was a double-edged sword. Even though, this made things more comprehensible, it made them also more complicated. When the bond occurred, they would both have to stop their conversations, isolate and return with a good excuse. For Kylo Ren it hadn’t been much of an issue, he was a leader after all and he could do as he pleased, but for Rey that sometimes would mean weird behavior and awkwardness among her own.

Coming to think of it, most of all he hated Dameron.

He was friendly, beloved and had a certain sense of humor. Whenever, Dameron made her laugh, he felt like smashing things, _especially since he couldn’t smash Dameron’s head._

So, when she was with company and had a good time, when she didn’t notice him straightaway or couldn’t leave, he would rather walk in the sideways and wait intolerantly for the bond to end.

He didn’t want to watch. Surely not when someone else made her feel good.

But now was not one of these times. Now, something was definitely off.

***

Rey decided that she would not stay at the reception after the funeral. She had been weeping for hours and the pain in her head was killing her. It was strange, being within the crowd at the ceremony felt incredibly lonely, here however, alone in her room in the ship, the sensation was soothing. She could hear the rest of the crew returning over time and she knew that they would be leaving Naboo quite soon.

Her thoughts turned around him. He should have been there. It was the last farewell.

More tears emerged although, it had seemed that all fluids had been drained from her body. _Did he even know?_

She wanted to reach him but didn’t know how. That thing they had… had a will of its own.   And it certainly played tricks on them.

Rey closed her eyes in an effort to meditate.

She found it hard silencing her thoughts, putting them aside controlled and surrendered. When she succeeded though, she could see with clarity the first image that came to her, being that of a dark forest. She found herself walking within it at a slow pace, observing the big, dense wood and its wet leaves formed from night’s humidity. She gazed in the horizon.

A storm was coming. As the first raindrops landed on her forehead, she turned her face to look up at the sky and myriads of droplets made their way on her flesh. A thundering roar startled her, causing her eyes to open.   

It was then that he materialized in front of her.

Kylo looked at her concerned. He could sense her pain and sorrow as if they were his own but the cause of it remained obscure. She wanted to speak but words eluded her. Suddenly a rising restlessness begun to overcome him.  As realization hit him, he spoke instead.

“She is gone, isn’t she? I can’t feel her anymore”, stated in distress.

“Ben….” Rey sighed,

“I am so sorry…” more tears flooded her eyes.

Kylo leaned his back to the wall and lowered his head grasping his temples with his hands, his legs giving out. There was a cataclysm of emotions coming down and his insides burned as if going to explode.

Rey reached to him and extended her arms to embrace him. It was something strange and foreign -even daunting- for him but she persisted so determinedly that he would succumb until she did enfold him tightly. It was a rare, barely existent -but present- spark of her darkness, wanting to protect him, overpowering him at the same time.

_Deep down he knew, he needed that smothering embrace, he urged it to contain the affliction._

And then, there they were, beside the wall, sitting on the floor laying hard pressed entwined. Rey caressed his hair with one trembling hand while stroked the back of his neck with the other. She had softly laid her face over his collarbone, transmitting him warmth, smelling his scent _(and Gods, he smelled so good),_ inhaling deeply, eyes closed.

_She could stay there forever._

Kylo remained mesmerized by her gentle touch, sinking deeper into an intimacy he would never imagine to crave.

_A black hole feeding off her soul, that’s what he was._

Breaking the embrace, Kylo cupped her face in his hands, leaning forward to her lips, so close that she could almost taste his breath. They stared into each other’s eyes until…

…A deafening sound was heard and Rey was shaken as the Resistance ship was receiving a massive blow. Sirens begun to scream and the noise of the crew running to assume positions filled the corridors. She glanced around hearing the call through the megaphones asking all pilots to hangar 8 but she knew already. They were under attack.

Rey stood up and watched him for moment. He seemed baffled.

“I have to go” she said in a cold tone and marched out of the door not looking back.

*******

In the Resistance warship’s bridge there was havoc.

Poe was screaming orders; the crew members were shouting info all at once and the incoming hits were increasing.

“Why aren’t the bloody shields up yet?” he yelled.

“Sir, there was no time, they attacked us as soon as we reached orbit” Connix replied in anguish.

Of course, they knew. They had been informed. The First Order was noted for its wide network of spies. Why the Resistance fleet was unprepared though, was another issue.

“We can’t do shit if we don’t have those shields up, it’s our number one priority”

“Get all our resources on restoring these damages, our squadron should give us some time for it before we can make a jump to lightspeed”.

Rey needed to hear no more and rushed to hangar 8.

*****

 Kylo Ren walked fast, entered the turbolift, reached a stairwell and descended to the floor of the command platform in a fury approaching Hux who was directly coordinating the attack.

“What is the current status?” he demanded.

“We have found them, Supreme Leader, we are ready for the final strike”, Hux replied his eyes glowing.

“Why wasn’t I informed? Why didn’t you ask for my authorization?”

Hux had overridden him once again, performing a show of superiority for the sake of his self-indulgence. Kylo had long gone lost his patience over the ambitious general and had been wanting to replace him provided he found the appropriate person. He found somewhat Hux’s capabilities sort of hard to substitute. Sure, Hux was a snake, but he indeed handled all the First Orders matters quite efficiently so far.

“My lord, we ‘ve had the information just a while ago” Hux evaded,

“Our inside intel revealed the location of the Resistance meeting along with some of their most powerful allies”.

Hux emanated a vile gratification, Kylo couldn’t share.

“It is our greatest opportunity to take down all of them”.

Yes, they had gathered for the burial. The Princess’s who had died without a home planet. The Resistance General.

_His mother._

****

Back in the hangar, Rey was ready to enter the X-Wing, fully suited, hands on her helmet, wrath in her heart. The time was ticking and every minute was crucial, as she stepped however to ride in the cockpit, she sensed the chill in the air, and his presence that followed.

Rey lowered the hand that grabbed the helmet and stared at him indignantly.

The chaos that occurred in the bridge had followed her here, people were rushing to prepare the starfighters, while others helped the pilots with their equipment, droids bleeped endlessly and communication systems were shrieking notifications and damage updates.

If she spoke to him, even here in the public none would notice.

And she wanted to, she wanted to let it all out.

“Really, Ben? You couldn’t let us just one day to grieve? Her face was red in frustration and anger.

“She was your mother for fucks sake!”

The sting of her words, instantly penetrated him.

But he was still in the control room and he couldn’t reply. He reached her instead with their bond.

 _“I didn’t give the order”,_ he returned defensively within her head.   

“Don’t lie to me!” she screamed at him in disbelief. She couldn’t restrain herself and eventually someone would notice. Fortunately, at this time there was none.

 _“I have never lied to you!”_ he screamed back. _“I have had no reason to. You know it’s true.”_

He was being sincere. She sensed it but it was not enough.

“Then call it off”, Rey asked in an almost imposing tone.

Kylo stood frozen, considering the options, seemingly unable or unwilling to make a decision.

“CALL IT OFF”, she repeated louder.

Finally, she was forcing him speak his mind, though she didn’t know whether she would like what he would have to say.

 _“Rey….”_ he started hesitantly,

 _“Get out of there…”_ and then more assured but still fragile,

_“Get in a shuttle and come to me”._

 

_This was a freaking deja-vu._

 

**_“You are pathetic”_ ** _,_

 

she howled in abhorrence, but she didn’t know whom she hated more, him or herself for caring for him, touching him and even wanting so desperately his kiss merely moments ago.

“To think that I would leave everyone else to die, and just save my own skin”.

Now pure rage was had taken her over. 

_“ **You are a constant disappointment”**_

_“_ If you want to take us down you, you kill me too”, she dared him.

“Now come on, KILL US, kill ME”.

“Come on then!”, she pushed again,

the last words spat slowly, radiating contempt, resentment and a tiny hint of mockery.

“Supreme…”

“..Leader…”

And by that the bond closed, leaving him also maddened with anger and conflict.

******

Kylo winced, at the sight of the battle on the panel monitors. The Resistance X-Wings were fighting on, Rey amongst them, being significantly outnumbered by the TIE fighters but still throwing courageously themselves into battle.

There was no time for consideration, there were two ways he could go about it. Both stunk.

“Stand down” he finally said.

“Ren!” Hux shouted in exasperation, but at the lethal look Kylo gave him he retreated.

“Supreme Leader”, he corrected himself and stuttered.

“Wh..What….?”

“We have them.. it’s almost over” Hux uttered trying to bring his leader to reason.

Kylo wouldn’t have it. Undermining his decision in front of all the crew and elite officers was beyond doubt unacceptable. For a second, he flirted with the idea of breaking Hux’s neck in front of everyone to make an example out of him. Under the current circumstances, maybe that had to wait a bit. He did though use the force to throw and stick him against the wall lifting him from the ground a few meters, so that everyone could see him, just to make his point clear.  

“It is I, who say when it is over General and you seem to have forgotten your place”.

“You don’t get to withhold information, you don’t get to take initiative and you definitely don’t get to give orders without my approval”.

Everything in his voice was fatally intimidating.

“Do you understand, General?”

Hux nodded with fear and submission.

“Now stand DOWN, and that is an order” Kylo howled.

“Today is cease fire” he added emphatically.

The TIE fighters were returning and the cannons would sound no more.

Before Kylo got out of the control room he gave a last glance at Hux.  

“Don’t defy me again Hux. That is if you want your head to remain detached to your body”

****

“Sir!”

“….the enemy…they are retreating” Connix announced loudly shocked and relieved at the same time.

Poe was sceptic, there was no reason for such a turn of events unless there was another cause behind it. A cause he could surely not figure out and wouldn’t waste time over.

“Are we ready for jump?”

“Yes sir, we ‘ve got only minor malfunctions and we are good to go”

Things did not look that dim anymore.

“Let’s have our starfighters back then and get the hell out of here”.

Poe rested his chin in his palm and looked unsettled, it had been roughly 72 hours he had become General and the burden of his duties had been already dragging him down. He had some very big shoes to fill and he needed to show he had the guts for it.

There were people counting on him. Let down was not an option.

***

The retreating of the First Order had been an unforeseen offering.

He had chosen _her_ this time. _It was a fucking revelation._

It was more than that. Much more than that.

If she was saved, if the Resistance was saved then maybe…just maybe Ben could be saved too.

 

She wanted to tell him.

No. She wanted to make him feel it.

If she could only go to him... Rey had to try and the only way possible seemed to be the one that had worked before.

She sat on her knees, cleared her thoughts and begun to meditate.

****

After leaving the control room Kylo Ren withdrew to his quarters only to go on a violent outburst, breaking and shattering all nearby objects with his lightsaber, sparkles of red leaping out, fragments of things scattered all over. He was proven once again inadequate.  

In her eyes he fell short. To his order weak.

Rey found herself kneeling in his chambers, scarlet glints swaying beyond black walls and polished floors. 

When Kylo became aware of her presence, he gave her a death stare,

“You…. This is the last time you have humiliated me!” he shouted.

“I swear to Gods, next time...”

But there was not going to be a next time, as Rey literally run to him crossing the distance between them and crushing her lips passionately against his. She pulled apart for a second, as he was taken aback at her move but then she went again, holding his face in her hands sucking gently at first and then intensely his lips deepening into the kiss until they would end up both touching their foreheads panting breathless. After that their kisses were lingering and persistent and as he was parting her trembling lips, teasing the tip of his tongue into her mouth in a plea of granting entrance, Rey felt like losing herself. 

His anger was dissolving and another fierce emotion was taking its place.

The heat was overbearing and they melt down within it.   

 _“You are manipulating me”,_ his words echoed in her mind as he tightened his hold on her, locking her to his body, his tongue inside her mouth.

_“And you are tearing my soul apart… Every time I want to give up on you, you return and I can’t let go”._

_“I do that? I am pathetic, remember? A constant disappointment… “._

_“A…”_

_“A monster…”_

That one needed to be spoken, but most importantly needed to be _heard._

 Breaking off the kiss softly she stared at his eyes, pupils dilated,

“I will never stop believing in you”. She made a small pause without taking her eyes off him and then continued decisively.

“Never”.

There was a knock on the door and a shout,

“Debriefing in 15”

And he knew that she was already gone, leaving him with a sense of loss and emptiness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usually I am into more heavy stuff but when I listened to Delain's - Dont Let Go, I couldnt get it out of my head.  
> Its actually my inspiration for the can't-let-you-go part that Rey says to Kylo.  
>    
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sv54LIujiqQ
> 
> If you want to have a taste at the feeling, it starts at 02.34
> 
> [I breathe you]  
> [I feel you]  
> I feel I'll never let you go again  
> [I breathe you]  
> [I feel you]  
> I feel I'll never let you go again!
> 
> PS: Sorry for any typos, currently almost 5 am in Greece


End file.
